June 16, 2012

Memories of Dad


Thirty-two years ago, my father passed away on a cold day in March, and I still miss him. On this Father’s Day, I’d like to share some memories of him.

With my Dad when I was just a wee one! In New Brunswick, New Jersey.
My father, George, was thirteen years older than my mother and so came from a different generation. He was born in Providence, Rhode Island, back when Model-T’s shared the streets with horses and everybody knew their neighbor. His father (James) owned a butcher shop and had English roots in New England dating back to Colonial times. His mother (Madeline) was the daughter of Irish and Portuguese immigrants. (Sadly, my siblings and I never met our paternal grandparents, Madeline and James. Both died within three month of each other, long before we were born).  Aunt Agnes (my father’s younger sister) would tell us that their mother called George “the salt of the earth.” I like that! And as far as I’m concerned, my Dad was “the salt of the earth.”

The middle one of three children, Dad had wonderful memories of his childhood. He enjoyed playing baseball, had a paper route, and relished the times he would go down to the Providence River, clam-digging with his older brother, Bill (Dad made a mean clam chowder!). He loved movies and would save the money he made from his paper route to go to Saturday afternoon picture shows. He remembered when silent films became talkies, and was a fan of Mary Pickford and Charlie Chaplin. Because he was older than our playmates’ fathers, he had stories from a different era and his stories were captivating. His family home in Providence was across the street from where the acclaimed songwriter and entertainer, George M. Cohan, once lived. (George M. Cohan was famous for such early 20th-century songs as “You’re a Grand Old Flag,” “Over There,” “I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy,” and “Give My Regards to Broadway.”) Now you get the picture of my father’s childhood. 

Dad when he was young (by car, hat in hand) with his parents and sister.
Providence, Rhode Island.

My father grew up in the Depression, served in the Rhode Island National Guard and later served in World War II. He met my mother, Carmela, in New Jersey, right after the war when my mother's brother, Uncle Ernie, who was serving with my father in the Army, arranged a date for them. My father was more than a decade older than my mother and he said it was love at first sight when he met her. He wrote beautiful love letters to her. He even recorded a love song for her at one of those music booths at the shore when they honeymooned in Atlantic City. He had no idea of my mother's bipolar illness (her family was not about to tell him and they were in denial themselves, as it turns out); he had no idea of what was later to come. The marriage vows of "for better or worse" were vows he took very seriously, and he never once abandoned my mother, even in her most difficult hours when she was rejecting him for others, and refusing to take her medications. About two and a half years after giving birth to my youngest brother, my mother was hospitalized for a nervous breakdown, my siblings and I were sent to an orphanage and foster care. Our family life was fractured, never to be whole again. The series of events broke my father's heart. But that story is for another time. This story is to celebrate Dad's life.

Mom and Dad (before I was a twinkle in their eyes).
Five years after they were married, my parents had me, then my three sisters and two younger brothers. Dad loved having a family. I learned to read at an early age because he read picture books to us every night. By the time I got to first grade, because of all that reading, I was already at third grade reading level. Story time at night was one of my best memories! That along with all the Irish lullabies he would sing to us in his baritone voice, the same tunes his mother sang to him when he was a child. If I close my eyes, I can still hear him sing, “Tura-Lura-Lura.”

And so I’ll close this post with “That’s an Irish Lullaby” for my Dad. Hope you’ll listen, it’s a lovely song. Happy Father’s Day!


All text and photos ©2012 JerseyLil’s 2 Cents.

25 comments:

  1. What a moving and loving tribute to a good man! He would be so proud of what you have accomplished and who you have become, despite all of life's hardships that have been flung your way. May your record of him, written on your heart, live on in every good choice, every good deed you perform.

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    1. Thank you so much, Melody, that’s so sweet and I really appreciate it!

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  2. Wow JerseyLil what a beautiful post. My son is named George. Great name. It's really heart warming to rsee these photos and share your memories. Thanks for posting this.

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    1. Thank you CrazyMama! I love that your son is named George too, it is a great name! One of my brothers is also George. I was thinking about my Dad and the stories he’d tell me about his childhood, so I thought I’d celebrate him by writing about his childhood and my memories of him. So glad you enjoyed it and the old photos!

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  3. That was a beautiful tribute to your dad. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thanks so much Jeanne! I really appreciate that you liked it.

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  4. Really touching. I can only hope my girls will remember me like this.

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    1. Thank you, Robert, and Happy Father’s Day to you! I hope your girls will remember, too. It took me many years to write down my memories. I think parents are appreciated more as time goes by and we get older.

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  5. Such a beautiful post, Madilyn! And you are so lucky you have pictures from so early times of your life, together with your parents.

    Hugs

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    1. Thank you so much, Petro, you are so kind! Yes, I am very lucky to have these photos and I especially love the old ones! My father really grew up in a different era. Hugs to you, too!

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  6. What a beautiful story about your parents with a tinge of sadness. It is so nice when you have all those lovely memories and pictures to look back on from the old days. They were real stylers from the photos. Do you still have the chowder recipe? you know how I love food :) or I guess it's a family secret :(

    This is truly a touching post JerseyLil. I hope you have a really enjoyable day.

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    1. Hi Rum-Punch-Drunk and thank you! It’s taken me a long time to write about my parents and I’m glad I did because writing helps to preserve memories. Yes, the story has a tinge of sadness indeed but I tried to focus on the happier times. And I love the fashion from those days, they were real stylers! So you are a fan of clam chowder? LOL! Sometime in the next few weeks I’ll make my father’s chowder and post the recipe w/picture as a special request for you! Don’t know if you’re a father but if so, Happy Father’s Day to you!

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    2. Oh JerseyLil, you've made my day. I'll be looking out for that chowder. If only you knew how I love food. Can't wait and thanks.

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  7. Madilyn, what a wonderful tribute to your Dad and so warmly and beautifully written. I love the photos, they capture so beautifully the flavor of a bygone era. I'm sorry for all the pain and hardships your family has had to endure, but it's wonderful how the love and memory of a special person shines though all that darkness and gives one courage to face the road ahead.

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    1. Thank you, Marty, I sincerely appreciate that! I love these old photos; my father really came from a bygone era in America. You are very kind and our family did go through a lot but adversity can make one stronger, and everyone has their crosses to bear. My father was a light in the darkness, and the stability and love he gave in those early years really helped me later in life. I only wish my youngest brother (who was barely 3 when our family broke up) could have been with Dad longer and he’d have these memories too, and it would have made a difference in his life. Happy Father’s Day to you!

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  8. Such a lovely post and a rich history! Your father was a special man and one-of-a-kind. I am sure he would be very proud of the memory and love you've carried on in your words.

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    1. Thank you, Shaharoh! My father really was one-of-a-kind and I can always carry those memories in my heart. I appreciate you stopping by my blog!

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  9. BTW thanks for adding me to your blogroll! I need to get a blogroll sorted out.

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    1. You’re very welcome, Robert! I thought a blogroll would be a good way to support other bloggers. Plus I just like being organized. My blogroll keeps growing so it’s a good thing these pages scroll way down...lol! :)

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  10. I am so sorry you lost your dad... I guess time cannot erase everything, especially those we have loved so dearly.

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    1. Thank you so much! It has been many years now and I wanted to write my memories of my dad to help preserve those memories.

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  11. What a beautiful tribute to your dad. I lost my dad 4 years ago, so I can relate to keeping the memories alive. As like you, I find that music and photos always remind me of him. Thanks for sharing your story.

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    1. Thanks so much, Kristina, and I am so very sorry you lost your dad, too. I know had difficult that is and yes, music and photos are such a wonderful way to keep memories alive!

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  12. Quite touching. Great tribute to your dad.

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    1. Thank you, Dhaston. I appreciate that very much!

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