A Fable of Groundhogs and Valentines

NewsFlash:

On February 2nd, Groundhog’s Day, a sluggish groundhog awoke from hibernation, rather grumpy at being abruptly pulled from his warm, cozy burrow by men in dark suits and tophats. Well, that was a startling sight first thing in the morning! Adjusting his eyes to the sunlight, he surveyed the landscape. Instead of looking around to cast his shadow thereby declaring Spring or No Spring, he spotted a valentine on the ground. Curious and hungry after his winter nap, he ate the valentine. Everyone watching was aghast! It was a pretty valentine card with colorful images of blooming flowers and bright, red hearts. Oh, how could a hungry groundhog resist? Groundhogs are herbivores usually eating insects, fruits, and veggies, but eating a valentine? Unheard of! The groundhog, we’ll call him Chewy, nodded in a sleepy sort of way, that the valentine was yummy as he devoured it. Chewy’s demeanor then changed from grumpy to cheery, and he sat up, wide awake now, and proudly declared the joining of Groundhog’s Day and Valentine’s Day as one holiday.

Chewy’s cousin Phil on Groundhog’s Day making his annual prediction.
(Photo taken by Aaron Silvers, licensed for distribution via Creative Commons, Wikimedia.)

A huge gasp was heard from the crowd gathered to hear his annual prediction. What?! Chewy, what about spring? Everyone leaned forward in anticipation and even the children paused from their games to hear Chewy’s sage reply as he casually picked bits of red cardstock from between his large, chisel-like teeth. “If you want an early spring, all you need is love.” (Chewy was likely inspired by the Beatles, he had asked for Beatles tunes on his iPod before entering the burrow for his winter nap.)

Chewy chomping away!

“Love is just like Groundhog’s Day, you dream of something you want to have, be it spring or love, it’s all the same. It’s all about hope and dreams. Combine Groundhog’s Day and Valentine’s Day into one special day of hope and love.” With that cheerful declaration, the hungry groundhog asked if there were any more valentine cards around so he’d have more colorful words to chew on.

A hush fell over the crowd, they were stunned! Such wise words from a simple, toothsome rodent with an odd appetite. After citizens, heeding the words of Chewy, petitioned their lawmakers to combine Groundhog’s Day and Valentine’s Day into one holiday, there was an immediate investigation. Lawmakers hate changing holidays, it messes up their calendars, and they were not pleased that their constituents were taking advice from a furry rodent not even duly elected. However, a formal investigation was stalled when lawmakers could not agree on how much taxpayer money to waste looking into the background of groundhogs and the validity of valentines. So the motion to investigate Chewy faded and lawmakers returned to their districts, campaigning on either pro or anti-groundhog positions. No one wanted to campaign anti-valentine because they didn’t want to be seen as lacking a heart. 

Retailers rejoiced. They quickly created advertising campaigns for delicious groundhog-shaped valentine chocolates, and eye-catching and oh so sappy valentine cards with toothy, grinning groundhogs giving you their hearts.

Chewy was elevated to the status of Chief Weather and Love Meteorologist. His burrow was upgraded to a cozy cabin filled with luscious fruits, veggies, and decorated with hearts. He chewed on valentines and spit out words of wisdom.  

Cupid by Rembrandt 

What about the mystery of the valentine outside Chewy’s burrow? How did it get there, it wasn’t even February 14th yet? It’s rumored that Chewy had an accomplice that day. A barely-clothed munchkin carrying a bow and arrow was reportedly seen running from the grounds. Some even say the childlike creature had wings. Could it be the fabled Cupid? There are those who say spotting Cupid is akin to spotting Big Foot or the Lock Ness monster, you may think you see it, believe you see it, but it’s not really there. Others dispute that notion, and the idea of Chewy and Cupid joining forces became a sentimental fable.

If you find spring and love together in the air on February 14th, from the corner of your eye and the heart of your imagination, you might catch a glimpse of Chewy with his smiling, toothy grin, chomping on valentines and riding on the wings of Cupid.  Stranger things have happened. As Pablo Picasso said, “Everything you can imagine is real.” Chew on that!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

An original fable ©2013 JerseyLils2Cents

Images from Wikimedia Commons and WikiPaintings.

Chewy’s inspiration!