April 13, 2012

Beautiful Music Here


Funny how you can sit down at the computer, thinking you're going to blog about one thing, and then you see a video and suddenly, you're writing about something else. That happened to me. I went on Facebook and was so moved by a video a friend had posted that I'm sharing that video and sharing a little piece of my life along with it.

If you haven't seen this video yet, I invite you to take a few minutes and watch the story of Henry. Suddenly, a man who has been depressed and unresponsive for nearly a decade becomes animated and starts singing out loud when given an iPod of music from his era. The transformation is beautiful to behold. Music truly touches the soul!



Watching this video also touched me personally because I saw this happen in my own life. After being hospitalized on and off for years, my mother went into a nursing home and barely reacted to anything. She wouldn't smile; she won't answer you when you talked to her. She'd stare into an abyss of nothingness, as if her spirit were already gone. Then my sister and I started playing Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett music for her, and my mother's whole demeanor changed. While the music played, she was singing and even smiling. Music was the only thing that touched her, the only thing.

On the last Mother's Day visit a few months before she passed away, while listening to Frank Sinatra belting out "My Way," she suddenly began talking about her childhood, telling us how she would play with her siblings in the backroom of her father's barber shop in a small New Jersey town. The same thing happened to Henry when he opened up about his youth and love of music. It's a joy to watch.

Just like Henry in this video, my mother, Carmela, loved to sing when she was young. She wore flowers in her hair and sang in beautiful harmony to whatever was playing on the radio. But there was a storm raging inside her that belied the songs and the smiles, a darkness her children saw in their most frightening hours.

The woman with the lovely singing voice who liked to wear flowers in her hair suffered for her sanity throughout her adult life. Because of that, her six children, of which I am the eldest, ended up in an orphanage and foster care. I won't write about all that today. I doubt I'll write about it very often. I choose to focus more on joy rather than sadness, but sometimes sharing the past can be good therapy, too.

This is an old grainy photo of my mother taken when she was young, but it captures her spirit.

Carmela
Viewing the video of Henry brought back memories of my mother. So my blog post is a remembrance for Mom, Carmela (Millie), hopefully now at peace and singing "My Way" in a paradise she never knew on earth.

As Henry says in the video, "Right now the world needs to come into music...you've got beautiful music here."

©2012-2014 JerseyLil’s 2 Cents.

38 comments:

  1. You look like her!!! I love this piece. You made me cry.

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  2. You are right Mad, music was the only way you could reach her!!!

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  3. Yes, you were there too, Rose, you remember!!!

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  4. I needed to read this post,

    d-thinker.com

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and reading my post!

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  5. Music is such a miracle and a mystery on the same time. It even has an impact on flowers, let alone people.

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    1. So very true, Petro! Thank you for your comment.

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  6. What a fantastic story! That was amazing how just listening to music changed his entire demeanor... Wow!

    Thanks for sharing this story. Hope you don't mind if I share this on my Facebook pages...

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    1. Hi John, thanks for your comment! It is amazing how music can makes these changes in people. Yes, you may share this piece on Facebook but please keep my copyright at the end. Thanks! :)

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  7. This post brought tears to my eyes, Jersey.
    I work in nursing homes and I love interacting with seniors. I am very lucky to have the job I have.
    The power of music...
    Your mother was beautiful. Thank you for sharing these stories...

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    1. Beautiful comment, thank you, Julia! Visiting my mom when she was at the nursing home was very difficult. Sadly, not all those caring for the elderly are as kind as you are (and I wish you could have been one of her attendants). The power of music was very evident and magical, and I’m so glad we found the one thing that could touch my mother’s spirit and bring a smile to her face.

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  8. What a heart warming video about Henry, and a touching blog about your Mother. At least they found something Henry could enjoy, as you did with beautiful Carmela. This tugged at my heart strings.

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    1. That’s very touching, thank you, Jaime! The video about Henry was so moving and it reminded me of my mother and how well she responded to music too when nothing else would reach her. My mother, Carmela, would have loved being called beautiful, and she was!

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  9. I felt that man come alive with the music he was given. Likened to a light switch he went from solitude to animation and conversation almost immediately. I wish I had thought about headphones for my Mother. We had plenty of travel DVDs ad movies, but I think she wouldn't have understood how to handle the music and making it work. Mostly near the end, she was very similar to this man, which seems so lonely. Ooh I miss my sweet Mother!

    Your Mother was quite lovely and I know you must miss her so. Thank you for sharing this post again. Well worth it!!!

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    1. Thank you, Theresa! It really was amazing to watch the way Henry responded to the music, yes, like a light switch went on immediately. Same thing happened when my sister and I played music from my mother’s era for her. I am very sorry to hear your mom is gone too and I know how much you must miss her. So glad you stopped by!

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  10. I remember this. You're so strong and courageous to overcome such sadness and still be so lovely. Thanks for reposting this!

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    1. Donna, thank you so much! I had a feeling you’d remember this post (and I truly admire your strength and courage for what you’ve been through as well). You left beautiful comments then and now, and I really appreciate it.

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  11. Oh my JerseyLil, I had tears in my eyes whilst both watching about the lovely Henry and hearing about your experiences with your mother. (Who I must say, was very beautiful)

    For me, in my darkest hour, music is what truly kept me alive.
    A wonderful tribute toy your mother and a strong message about the positive power that music brings. :)

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    1. Thank you, Lily! Watching Henry in the video, I couldn’t help but think about my own experience with my mother and music. (Yes, she was beautiful, thank you! I really love this picture with the flower in her hair.) There is such positive power in music, especially in the way it can uplift us in our darkest hours. Beautiful to hear it did that for you as well.

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  12. A glorious story. Music does indeed touch the soul.

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    1. Ian, you are so right, music does indeed touch the soul. Thank you for your wonderful comment. Cheers to you!

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  13. This is so beautiful it hurts my heart. Looking back, I wish I had played Mahler and Wagner for my father when he was dying in Hospice. I wish I could have seen him smile one more time before he left this earth.

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    1. Thank you Meno Mama! I am sorry you didn’t get a chance to play music for your father when he was in the hospice. Many times, we just don’t think of these things when we’re with loved ones toward the end. I only thought about playing music for my mother because I remembered how much she loved to sing along to whatever was playing on the radio, and she especially loved Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett, two Italians (she was Sicilian) from her generation. The marvelous thing was how beautifully it worked.

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  14. That was wonderful.

    Music is one of the fastest, most powerful ways I know to touch somebody.

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    1. Thanks Big D, I really appreciate your comment! I totally agree that music is one of the fastest and most powerful ways to reach someone.

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  15. So glad you re-post this blog, Madilyn, because it's such a heartfelt article about music!

    Yes, I always feel the power of the music! I once thought, if I could paint a piece that can move me like a music, I would call myself a "master". However, I found visual art is very different from music, somehow I still feel music is more overwhelming in regarding to touch our heart (or just in different ways). I wonder if there's anything to do with "sound wave", which actually "punch" our nervous system? Also, I think listening to music take "time", a dimension that is so crucial to our life, so during which we must live together with it. Well, not sure how much sense I am making.

    And it's so beautiful the way you remember your mother. Having read a few post of yours about her, I feel like I know her already. I can attach to that deeply. My mother also had lots of "mental" problems and she also did lots of damages to me and my sister, but she remains beautiful in my memory, because she had such a kind heart. And she loved music too. My love to music comes from her (my father doesn't seem to attach to music, so I somehow feel he doesn't have a "heart"!).

    Again, Carmela is such a beautiful name, both musical and imagerial. I think she is very happy singing in the Heaven and be proud of you.

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    1. Yun, thank you! Yes, music really does touch our hearts in a different way than art, but both have their place and both are so important to the human spirit. Maybe sound waves do affect our nervous system. I understand what you mean about listening to music, you can easily be transformed to a dimension where time and space sort of stand still. That’s how it seems to me.

      Carmela is such a lyrical name, isn’t it? It’s as if she were born to sing, which is good considering so much else in her life was so difficult due to bipolar illness. I am sorry that you and your sister had to endure a mother who suffered from mental illness too. I know all too well how it casts a dark shadow for years on the children. But in our memories it helps to focus on what we can find that’s positive. How nice that you got your love for music from your mother!

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  16. What a moving video, Madilyn! It shows that joy is always there inside us. We just need something to bring it out of us. Music is truly the universal language. It transcends all ideas, beliefs, and goes straight to the heart.

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    1. Marty, thank you so much! Yes, music is the universal language, transcending all ideas and beliefs and going straight to the heart, well said! The video really shows the power of music to bring out the joy in all of us. I found it very moving too.

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  17. Great post, Madilyn. Loved the video of how music brought Henry to life, and then learning of the impact music made on your mom. Your writings abd reflections about your mother are so poignant and bittersweet.

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    1. Thank you so much, Kris, your comment means a lot to me! I really loved the video of how music brought Henry to life, how it made him smile again, and I remembered the impact it had on my mother too. When nothing else reached her, music did, it was magical!

      Yes, the memories of my mother are bittersweet. It took many years to come to a place where I could reflect on my past with some positivity. I try to understand how hard my mother’s life was, suffering for her sanity, being institutionalized, being rejected by her own parents (who also rejected their grandchildren) because of her mental illness, so when I write about her, I try to find some light in the darkness. If she had lived in a different time when mental illness did not carry such a stigma, I can easily how accomplished she would have been!

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  18. JerseyLil, I'm still having trouble following your blog. Tried to when I first read this piece, but just keep getting, "We're sorry...
    We were unable to handle your request. Please try again or return a bit later".

    Still, I shall persevere. :)

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    1. Hi Lily, thanks for letting me know. I think the problem may be Blogger. Others have written to me lately about problems getting on my blog too. I intend to move my blog to WordPress soon so hopefully some of the problems will then get resolved. Really appreciate your perseverance! :)

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  19. Songs can whisk you away like a time machine. That video is proof enough, as is your memory of your mother's memories. I have read the poignant story of your mother before. It left me in a wistful mood, reading about her again today.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading this again, Umashankar! Yes, my memories of my mother are wistful, many are melancholy. My siblings and I had a tough childhood, but all these years later, I try to look at our past and my mother’s illness with a new perspective. When I saw this video of how music can reach the soul, I was immediately reminded of her.

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  20. Music is important, regardless of the style, because it takes us to our memories and allows us to dream as well. For me, a day without music would be like never waking up in the first place.

    Nice post, I remember when you first posted this post, loved it then & love it now!

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    1. Thanks, Scorp, I really appreciate that (and sorry it took me a while to respond). Music is so important and like you, I’d never want a day to go by without music. I’m so pleased you loved this the first time I posted it and loved it again! :)

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